He’s been very good, too. I’d like to reward him for his behaviour — but with what? Hey, maybe you’ve got some fun suggestions or exciting ideas I could incorporate into our scene …

If so, I’d love to hear ‘em. And never forget, my group members — my Best Bets — always have full access to not only the chastity journal, but my little devious pontifications. In fact, they can ask me anything they want to.

Would you like to join up? It’s easy — and totally free. (And don’t worry about being approved; I’ll take care of that for you.)

I wonder what wild and crazy things we’ll cook up this time — or if we’ll just be kickin’ it old school. (I do love a good T&D scene.)

Decisions, decisions.

Like other women I’ve dated, Roulette developed an non-penetrative way to achieve orgasm from all of her years spent as an abstinent teenager. She has the ability to sit in my lap and grind her naked pussy against my cock until she achieves orgasm. It’s quite hot, actually; particularly, if it’s being coupled with a tease and denial scene, as she is often wont to do.

As I’ve written in prior posts, episodes of chastity tend to give me these overwhelming feelings of intensity. On Saturday night, I was definitely feeling it, and she had already let me know that I would NOT be coming this weekend. I felt the telltale sense of growing awe as I got home from work that night and looked upon her; the femininity of her body always seems so amazing about three days into chastity. The shape of her face, the heave of her breasts, and the feel of her ass, all seem to be entirely new; it’s as though she were the only woman in the world to me.

But with that sense of awe also comes a sense of dread, for she is going to use me for her pleasure and I am to be kept wanting. With that in mind, she took me over to the couch, sat straddle of my lap, and started kissing me. She and I really enjoy long make-out sessions, although, during these times my submissiveness really comes through. I just melt under her as she pushes my face back and runs her tongue down the length of my neck. We continue making out as she whips my longing for her into a fevered pitch and then commands me to take my pants off. I do so and sit submissively on the couch waiting for her next move.

She stands before me as I sit on the couch and look at her. Given my submissive mindset and the need to come, the power of her sexuality intimidates and scares me as she lowers her panties to her ankles. I have no idea what she’s going to do to me, but I’m already under her thumb and feel a growing sense of dread as she straddles my lap. She positions herself so that her pussy is rubbing right against my cock and begins to grind away as I’m forced to helplessly watch her get herself off. (more…)

Well I’m back in Chastity until at least Monday. It was so nice to get relief on Monday. Mistress took me with her strap-on as she allowed me to touch myself. We did not have a long and involved resolution to the period of chastity as she had expected because she just hadn’t been feeling well, but the release is always wonderful.

Unlike other female-led relationships I read about online, ours has power exchange elements that can reverse at times. That is to say, when she’s not exercising control, she allows me certain liberties in regards to “taking her.” I think it’s a fundamental right of all women to be “taken” sexually by the one they want. I think it a primal need to feel desired and wanted and validated that just can’t get expressed during periods of chastity and extreme control. So the next morning I enjoyed a more aggressive sexual experience that culminated in my using her breasts to achieve orgasm. Apparently this was the first time she had ever allowed a man to do this to her, and I was very happy to be one of her firsts.

I love the feeling of my cock sliding between her tits- knowledge that she has used to her advantage during certain teasing scenes. But that orgasm was the last one I’ve had in the last three days and we are now beginning chastity again. At this point, I feel very excited about what this period of chastity may bring me. I’m simply overcome by raw enthusiasm and the hope of new experience. I will, of course, keep everyone apprised as to my progress.

Frustration 1, Arousal 3

When my boyfriend, Mr. P, told me a couple of days into our most recent experiment with chastity that if I didn’t do the scene soon, he’d start deliberately picking fights and creating disharmony in our usually level and very rarely rocky relationship, I took heed. Within seconds, I could feel the control being silently taken from me; the pressure of having to perform starting to bear down. If my emotions didn’t ebb and flow to the same rhythm as his need for abuse, then he was going to actively bring it out of me — even if not necessarily consciously. It was an important piece of honesty, which I praised him for, and appreciated his expressing it to me. But it didn’t lessen my predicament in any way.

See, I wasn’t ready yet. Not nearly. My head was swimming with intriguing and intense behavioural modification methodology, since part of the grand scheme is learning to transform some facets of our darker natures into that which can be better integrated into our base personalities. Namely, his, since mine can be expressed through my fiction, or even being particularly forceful in my demeanour. His, however, needs direct, merciless abuse.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to abuse the one you love? More so, if you have been abused by people who, at points of your life, have claimed to love you?

Talk about a mindfuck. (more…)